fall through the cracks

I know I don’t have it all together.  I know that in my head.  I know that in my heart.  I know that I need to set boundaries.  To say no.  To limit myself.  I know that things will fall through the cracks.  I will let people down.  And it will be ok.  I am a human, and I’m not perfect.  I know these things.

 

And yet…

 

There is a part of me that is relentless.  It’s faster than me.  It’s bigger than me.  It’s stronger than me.  And it wants me to do everything… to hide the above truths.  To pretend they don’t exist.  To try and have it all together.  To try and not let anyone down at all costs.  To be a steel trap of responsibility.  To have no limits.  To have no boundaries. To admit no weakness.  It tells me that when things do fall through the cracks, and I let people down, I will be cut off.  From love.  From belonging.  And I will be shamed into darkness, hated, and it will be just.

 

And so…

 

I breathe.  Deeply.  Four seconds in and five seconds out.  And I remind myself that this war is real.  This war does not define me.  The former truths will prevail and give me comfort.  Because we don’t need to have it all together.  We are loved.  We matter.  We belong.  Regardless of what falls through the cracks.

 

May we fall through the cracks, into the loving arms of God and each other.

fall through the cracks

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